We take so many things for granted. Logging in to dating sites and chatting with singles whenever we feel so isn’t a big deal for most. But things are much different. There’s powerful technology behind all the features on modern dating sites. It enables users to have pleasant experiences online without worrying about safety (too much). Today we’ll look under the hood of dating sites to figure out how technology makes chatting online possible. Similar technology is on every platform with chat. Reading this will help to understand how social media works as well.

Do You Ever Feel Like Sites Are Reading Your Mind?

We all feel like Google is reading our minds sometimes. If you don’t, you’re the only person who got rid of all cookies and hid from all the algorithms. Well-aimed ads combined with cookies are responsible for showing us things we just spoke about. But algorithms on dating sites don’t know much about us, yet they present matches with stunning precision. Men who join the dirty chat with girls on the site can’t believe algorithms know what they like. It can’t; technology can’t read minds. It reads our activities. When a man enters the site for casual chatting and stops browsing to gaze at the profile of some attractive girl, the algorithm takes a note. Next time, it shows girls looking more like the first one because he liked her. Why would he stop browsing otherwise? The matchmaking algorithm does that for every member individually. That’s how advanced technology became, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Matchmaking algorithms can do so much more. But now we have to talk about technology that enables exchanging spicy photos on dating chats.

Creating a Safe and Working Chat Takes Skill and Effort

Technology is advancing rapidly every day. Our parents considered throwing notes in the classroom to be the latest technological advancement in chatting. Today we’re exchanging photos, videos and having video calls on dating sites. Most people don’t consider chat to be some crazy technological wonder anymore because it’s everywhere. But that doesn’t mean developers can relax and just put together some petty software. That would ruin the reputation of the whole dating industry. Members have to feel safe, which is much easier if they understand how live chat works. We’ll list 5 crucial technological aspects every chat has to have nowadays.


The server is where everything happens and where multimedia files are stored. Without it, it would be impossible to chat online. Most modern chat platforms use YAWS to store their files and an open-source Ejabberd server to make chat possible. Ejabberd server enables private messages, MUC, offline messages, typing indicators and ensures privacy. Such servers work on most devices, so singles who get new Xiaomi can use its front camera to send beautiful selfies online.


XMPP protocol is responsible for live chat. It also shows if someone is online or offline (used on every chat platform regardless of the industry). However, enabling us to exchange messages in real-time is the main purpose of XMPP. Without it, the chat could never get where it is today.

Programing Language

XMPP and Ejabberd server doesn’t mean much without a suitable programming language. Ejabberd server works on Erlang programming language, which is conveniently great for creating real-time systems such as live chat.

Database Management

Most chat platforms use the combination of 2 database management technologies to run their services. MySQL is a general database management system, while Mnesia takes care of real-time chatting. We don’t see the difference between sending a message to someone online and someone offline, but different technology makes both of those possible.

Operating system

Different services may use the various OS, but the main goal is providing a fast and stable environment to every user. Some operating systems come with different features, but nowadays, the average online dating site user won’t see the difference in most cases.

Terry Ts

By Terry Ts

Focusing China's mobile phone and electric vehicle market, senior automotive media reporter.